


Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Part 2)

by FizzyCustard



Series: Raymond de Merville x Reader [2]
Category: Pilgrimage (2017)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Body Image, F/M, Fluff, Giving Birth, Guilt, Hostage Situations, My Own Tumblr Series, Original Character Death(s), Pregnancy, Reincarnation, Romance, Scars, Sex, Smut, Time Travel, Tumblr Imagines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 18:13:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FizzyCustard/pseuds/FizzyCustard
Summary: After Raymond's death you are taken back to 2017 and whilst heavily pregnant with yours and Raymond's child, you meet a familiar looking man. In your race to get back to France 1209AD you put yourself and your child at risk to be safe away from the company who wish to make you into a lab rat.





	1. Drabble One

**Imagine meeting a familiar looking stranger**

 

 

**_England, 2017_ **

Your stomach felt heavy, and not just because you were seven and a half months pregnant, but because you had just asked a question you never even imagined you’d ever in your life ask. _What are the procedures for putting a child up for adoption?_ What would Raymond think of you?But how could you live like this? You were constantly living a life of darkness because your light, Raymond, had been taken from you. 

Your senior management at work had been trying to bribe you with money to shut you up over the events which had unfolded; you’d been dragged into non-stop meetings. An accident in the research facility of a local science lab where you worked as an assistant technician, had sent you hurtling through time to 1209AD, landing you in France. The life you had begun making, resulting in you marrying the love of your life and becoming pregnant, had all come to a cataclysmic end when your husband was killed. Then the team you worked alongside had been able to pull you back into your proper time in history. 

You stared at the image of your unborn child, in whites and greys upon the ultrasound screen next to you. Its small heartbeat loud in the room as the midwife turned up the volume. “She’s strong.” 

“She?” you asked, tears in your eyes. 

The midwife put the machinery away and wiped the cold gel from your swollen stomach. “I don’t want to interfere too much,” she began, reminding you so much of Lucille back in France. The midwife was young, blonde and very beautiful. “But, where’s the father? You never mention him and when I asked you on your first scan, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. There’s obviously something really hurtful behind what happened, and I just wanted to make sure that adoption is the right thing for this baby.” 

You couldn’t help but break down into tears. You shoved your head back on the bed and exhaled through the tears. “There’s so much to this story,” you said. “And I’m not proud of some of my actions, so do I really want to bring a child up knowing the things I’ve done?” Every night flashes of the bodies of Raymond’s father and the mute would haunt you. Murdering those men had brought you some initial satisfaction, but now all you felt was overwhelming shame and guilt. “I was married and my husband died…” The tears came faster down your cheeks, and you dashed to the door, unable to stand this anymore. The midwife chased after you and put her arm around you. 

“We can get you support if you need it,” she told you kindly. “Please don’t think that you’ll just give birth to this baby and that’s it.”

“I lost my husband, the only man I’ve ever truly loved. And I have to live with the memories through this baby, knowing I’ll never get him back.” 

Instead of going home after your scan, you walked aimlessly through town, watching people pass you by. Evening was closing in quite sharply now, the dusk wrapping around you. Never even knowing why, you looked at the doorway of a local pub, set off the street, and approached it. 

You walked into the pub, hearing men cheering at the sports channel which was playing on a TV above the bar. A couple of men raised their eyebrows at you, seeing your obvious pregnancy and wondering why you had decided to venture into a public house. 

“Can I have a pint of coke, please?” you asked the barman, an overweight, balding fellow with reddened cheeks. 

“Course, love. That’s two pounds fifty, please,” he asked, and began pouring the drink from off the tap. 

You stayed in the bar for a while, looking at the print out of your ultrasound scan. Your index finger traced the outline of your daughter’s head and then down her arms which were stretched upwards. 

_I can’t give you up. How selfish would I be for giving away the one last physical thing I have left of Raymond? The pain will never go away, but I have to try and cope each day and watch you grow up and be happy._

You went on to order a plate of food, but as you waited for your meal, you picked up the cocktails list. A cocktail list in a bar like this? Very fancy an attempt at being up market. 

“Should you really be looking at those in your fragile state?” a voice came. Shivers raced down your spine. That voice! It was so familiar; so deep with its velvet baritone edge, but one thing was missing from it: a French accent. 


	2. Drabble Two

**Imagine trying to tell Raymond who he really is**

 

 

**_England, 2017_ **

You choked on your drink as the man looked at you, the man who belonged to that eerily familiar voice. His icy blue eyes, his long nose, slim lips, almost black hair…it was Raymond. You said his name, feeling your whole inner being explode in shock and joy. Your Raymond was alive. 

“Sorry, sweetheart, I think you’ve got me mixed up with somebody else. I’m Richard, not Raymond.” He gave you a sad smile, probably pitying you for your sudden outburst of complete insanity. Were you hallucinating and willing him to be there? You panicked, feeling your breath escape you, and it made you gag. 

You dashed for the second time that day, unable to face what was right in front of you. “You alright, love?” the barman called as he scrubbed up some of the pint glasses. 

Richard watched on. Why had she called him Raymond? That was what he was called in his dreams. Raymond de Melville, de Meerville….something like that. The splintered pieces of his dreams haunted him by day. He never saw a woman’s face but he dreamed of being on his knees, kissing his wife’s stomach and promising to come back. Come back from where? For weeks now and he had dreamed of a woman, never seeing her face but hearing her voice, kissing her stomach which held a new life they had created…and then that day he just happened to bump into a pregnant woman who called him Raymond. Richard had never been superstitious or spiritual, but something about this situation was pulling at him. 

You pressed your back against the wall, watching a few children play on a bouncy castle in the beer garden. “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

You looked to your left and saw Richard. He was Raymond, you were sure of it. His whole face was your husband’s, only minus the purple scar at his temple next to his eye. 

“I’m insane, let’s face it!” you hissed under your breath. “I thought you were someone else and you aren’t.” 

“How can you be so sure?” he asked. 

Why would he ask such a question as that? You looked up at him, and you could see questions in his eyes. You knew Raymond’s expressions, every single one of them. The times you had analysed his face, studying the crinkles at his eyes when he laughed, watching his lips moisten ever so slightly whenever you were vocally teasing him, and the contentment in his ice blue depths whenever you curled up together at night. More than that and you remembered the expression of whenever he was unsure, confused or questioning. When you had initially rejected his wedding proposal, and the confusion made his eyebrows furrow and he looked down at the ground, that initial reaction of not knowing what to do. And in this instance you could see he did not know what to do. 

“Do you know something?” you asked him. For the first time you looked properly into his eyes, focusing on him. It was Raymond. You felt the draw to him, the spirals of enticement racing through you. This was your husband. In some miracle he had come back to you. You didn’t care how, just the fact he had. 

Richard felt attraction, an invisible force which was wrapping around his insides and pulling him towards you. But you were a heavily pregnant woman, obviously someone else’s girlfriend or wife. “I don’t know anything, but you seem to know something. Tell me,” he insisted. The forceful side to your husband was beginning to show, just like when you first met. He had expected you to explain yourself first before he even attempted to give away any snippets of insight about himself. 

“I’m fucking insane,” you growled, noticing people who were sat outside with their children begin to watch you suspiciously. 

You looked at your Raymond again and felt your daughter kick hard. She obviously knew as well that this was her father. As if on cue, Richard spoke again, “Who’s the father?” He looked down at your bump, his eyes seeming to remain there for longer than most people’s. 

Such a strange question for someone who had only just met you. How in the world could you answer with ‘you’? 

“He died,” you whispered. “He got sent away and died fighting.” 

“As in deployed with the forces?” Richard asked. 

“You could say that, yeah.”

“Look, I know this is all weird and everything, but would you like a lift home?” Richard asked kindly. Of course he was a complete stranger through your rational thinking, but he was also your husband. What a contradiction. There was no way you could miss this opportunity. On impulse you politely agreed to his offer. 


	3. Drabble Three

**Imagine Raymond remembering who he is**

 

**_England, 2017_ **

Richard stopped outside your small maisonette block after you had told him the way back to your flat. There was definitely a tension sitting in the air now, both of you wanting to progress further and open the gates to the miracles and mysteries that were shrouding this whole circumstance. 

“Do you want to come in?” you asked him. This was the kind of behaviour you would never have partaken in before your new life in France had begun. You never took chances before, especially with men you found attractive. It was seen so many times on the television; in shows and films. A man drives a woman home and she asks him in for a drink. But there was no way you could let him go. You would do absolutely anything it took to get your Raymond back. 

“How can I say no?” Richard replied, looking down at the steering wheel which was still tight in his grip. “I’ve been having dreams, and in them I’m called Raymond, and I’m kissing my wife’s stomach, promising I’ll come back to her. The voice I hear…it’s yours.” 

Richard looked up at you, his eyes filling with tears. 

“I wake up every night, waiting for a woman I never thought existed,” he said, his voice was breaking as he looked at you. 

You whispered his name and moved towards him, your hand reaching for his cheek, but you stopped. Your hand began to tremble and the apprehension took hold. But his reaction shocked you. 

Richard took your hand and kissed the palm of it, and brushed it down his face. Then he said something, the words trailing into French. But two words made sense to you, which he would always tell you, in both French and English. “Mon amour.” 

As the frustration and lust began to rise, you both got out of the car and made your way into the maisonette block. There was so much joy radiating through you that you couldn’t help but laugh as you both got into the small flat and rushed into an embrace. 

Raymond kissed you hungrily, the man you once knew rising again from this new body. “I waited so many years here for you,” he whispered, his voice thick with not only lust but his French accent. The sound of it made you melt and you groaned loudly. “I was locked away, pining for you inside this body. I promised I would return to both of you.” And then he slipped his hand down onto your belly. 

“We’re having a girl,” you told him. 

Raymond gasped and then looked down at your bump again, almost in disbelief. “My own little daughter.” 

You couldn’t help but break down into tears and you pulled Raymond to you, holding him so tight. His smell was different, consisting of a cool scented deodorant, but his body was still broad and muscular beneath yours. “I love you so much,” you wept. “I nearly gave her away because I couldn’t live without you  with me.” 

Raymond pulled from your embrace gently. “I am here now, my love. I will take care of both of you.” 

 

 


	4. Drabble Four

**Imagine your first night back with Raymond**

 

_**England, 2017** _

Raymond kissed you so incredibly hungrily, and in those moments you felt your whole world merge back to the way it once was. “My love,” he whispered again, the true Raymond now completely emerged. 

You took Raymond’s hand and guided him down the short hallway to your bedroom. But as you walked inside, he noticed a wooden box on your bedside table. “Your wedding gift from Etienne,” he said, his fingertips running across the glossed wood. You stood next to him and lifted the lid, showing the pieces of parchment inside. “The letters I sent you…” 

“How could I part with them? They were all I had of you,” you said, feeling tears roll down your cheeks again. “When I came back here, one of the scientists found me, and this was the only thing I could take.”

Raymond brushed his hand against his neck. “My ring that you gave me?” He questioned its absence. 

“You were buried with it. I considered taking it back as I took your sword and arrow…”

Raymond’s eyes widened. “Why would you take those?” he asked. “Please do not tell me…”

“I killed your father and the mute who killed you,” you replied, looking up at him. “I’m not proud of what I did. It only brought me temporary satisfaction until the dreams started, and all I could see were their faces. But you would have done it if it was me.”

“I died honouring you,” Raymond growled, drawing his arm around your waist and pulling you gently to him. “And I would do it a thousand times over; no one dishonours you or our daughter. No one.” 

You kissed Raymond fiercely, pulling him down to the bed. You groaned loudly, feeling your arousal hit such a plateau that you felt you were about to come there and then beneath him, still fully clothed. His lips sucked your neck hard and his hand cupped your breast. 

“Just take it all off,” you panted. You both disrobed quickly, needing to get all clothing removed as it was just a hindrance between you, keeping you physically apart. 

Raymond looked at your swollen belly and then placed his hand upon it, feeling movement beneath his hand. “My miracles, both of you.” 

You kissed again, and you opened your legs, feeling Raymond slide inside you. The impact made you moan loudly; your whole body was on fire, heightened by the hormones surging around you. 

“Tell me you need me,” Raymond pleaded, kissing your neck and grunting at your ear. “Please tell me.” 

“I need you, Raymond,” you said, your words drifting off your lips, wrapped up in your throaty groans. He was pushing you towards your climax as he touched upon your sweet spot again and again, in a regular rhythm. 

Until suddenly it all burst and you fell away, gripping his shoulders and shouting his name into the air. And with the sound of his name being called whilst in the heights of such wondrous pleasure, Raymond spilled. He groaned at your ear, digging his head against your neck. 

You both remained still, locked and as one. 

“Never leave me again,” you told him, brushing your hand down his cheek. “Promise me.” 


	5. Drabble Five

**Imagine you and Raymond planning to go back to France 1209AD**

 

**_England, 2017_ **

That night and you slept soundly next to Raymond, never waking and the nightmares not visiting you. It was Raymond’s presence back in your life that forced all the bad things away, and brought back that light which had been missing the last five months you had been without him. 

The next morning and you woke to feel Raymond’s hand brushing down your cheek. He was looking down on you as you woke from your dream; in your dream and you were flying, watching a flock of birds drift through the air in silence beside you. You smiled at your husband and he leaned down, kissing you gently, whilst rubbing your stomach, needing contact with both you and his daughter. 

“They’ve been asking about her at the lab where I work,” you told Raymond. He shifted back, sitting up. His eyes narrowed at the very thought of anyone questioning you in such a manner. 

“What did they say?” he asked. 

You sat up from your lying position, propped up against your pillows, and brushed a hand through your hair. “They wanted to know how and when I got pregnant…and by who,” you replied. “I just told them I was already pregnant when I originally went to your time. But they seemed to know I was lying.” 

“What does this mean for her?” Raymond asked. “I will not have them touch her, or you.” 

Tears began to fall down your cheeks as you pondered such a question. “I…don’t know,” you told Raymond. “There were talks of taking her when she’s born to do tests because of the effects the machine had on my body and on her. I was pregnant when I came back through so they think the machine could have affected her as well as me. They’re bribing me with money to not speak a word but go in for testing. They’re offering me two million.” 

That fierce fire was burning in Raymond’s eyes. You had missed that fire within him so much. “Do not accept such a bribe. If they had their way then they would take her away from us.” 

“This was why I was thinking of adoption. I wanted to try and run away somewhere, have her, and put her up for adoption, so they can’t track us. But I can’t. I’m her mother and should fight for her every step. She belongs with us.” You could feel her moving inside you as if responding to your words, thanking you for your resolution to keep her. “But while we’re here they won’t stop hounding me. They threatened me that if I don’t keep up with the meetings then they’ll find me and _make sure_ I do what they say.” 

Raymond shifted forwards towards you. “We’ll find a way back to where we belong. I’ll make sure you both get back.” 

As he said those words you kissed him and pressed your forehead to his; you knew what he meant by saying ‘both of you’. He was prepared to sacrifice himself again. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. This time I fight to honour you. We all go back together or not at all. I _need_ you, Raymond, so much more than you realise.” 

You could see tears swimming in his eyes as you told him you needed him. Those words were so poignant for him to be told. Just to be told that he was needed kept him alive, and kept him fighting. 

In bed that morning you both began planning your return to France in the year 1209AD, where you wished to live in peace and raise your baby daughter. 

“I have another meeting tomorrow morning regarding what happens when she’s born. They think that the changing of timelines may have affected the present and need to check our radiation levels,” you told Raymond. 

“I will be beside you,” he insisted. “If I have to force my way into that building, kill every person inside just to get you through and back to France, then I will do it.” 


	6. Drabble Six

**Imagine you and Raymond breaking into the lab which sent you back in time**

 

_**England, 2017** _

You and Raymond walked hand in hand down the busy street towards the high rise building where you had worked for nearly three years as an assistant technician. Things went on inside that building of which you had been sworn to secrecy, including the very experiment which had sent you through time to France, 1209 AD. You knew that escaping the clutches of this company now that you were back in your present time and pregnant with a man’s child who had died in 1209, was going to be impossible. They wanted to experiment on you and the baby. Bribery may have been their way of sweetening you to comply, but you knew that the money would never get to you and you would become a lab rat for the rest of your life. The company were just waiting for your daughter to be born. 

Raymond fingered the kitchen knife in his pocket, prepared to take down whoever got in his path to see you and your baby safe in 1209. 

You had yet another meeting with senior bosses to talk about your pay out, which you ultimately knew you would never get. They would resort to kidnapping you if necessary to run their tests. 

You made your presence known in the reception area downstairs which was brightly lit and had a young, dark haired woman, with plenty of cleavage on show sitting behind the desk. “Can I help you?” she asked, looking you up and down, mentally judging you. You had always hated this woman; sometimes you would see her in the staff canteen upstairs and she would roll her eyes if you tried to be polite. 

Using his stealth, Raymond rushed behind the desk, grabbing the woman around the mouth, and dragged her into a small stockroom which was just behind the desk. The woman hadn’t seemed to have noticed the unauthorised entry of the mysterious man who had accompanied you. 

Raymond tied the woman up using her tights, gritting his teeth in anger as she tried to resist. You darted into the room to help Raymond, holding your hand to her mouth so he could finish the job and make sure she was restrained. 

Next step would be security, having to get through an airport style operation that you had been required to be subject to whenever you entered the building. Usually there were only ever two men at a time at the main checking room, one of them scanning bags and clothing and the other completing body searches. Sometimes there was an armed guard just behind the door, and today was lucky for you. As you made your way into the large room, using the stolen ID pass from the receptionist, where all the scanners and equipment were for detecting weapons or explosives, there was an armed guard sat down reading a magazine, not taking much notice to who was passing by. 

You walked in, faking a smile and nodding your head politely. Obviously you and Raymond had not, as of yet, been detected in the building. 

Raymond moved from behind you, punching the security officer square in the jaw and then nose, knocking him to the ground in a pool of blood from a broken nose. He pulled the gun from the guard’s utility belt and aimed it at the other two men who were standing by the scanning machines. 

You knew that there was a room just to the right of the main security hall and inside it held replacement equipment, and required a pass to get in and out. “Give me your passes!” you ordered, stepping up to the men and reaching out across the belt where the trays moved. “Give me your passes and get in that room.” Raymond kept the gun aimed at the two men, one being a young, fresh faced man, reminding you of Henri, and the other looked around Raymond’s age with shoulder length, shaggy hair. 

Once the two men had complied with your orders, you raced through the winding hallways with Raymond towards the CCTV room. Surely someone would have noticed you by now and raised the alarm. But luck seemed to be on your side so far. When inside the small room which was filled from floor to ceiling with screens, you found the guard asleep who should have been conducting his duties. The man, who was surely near pension age, was snoring away, a cup of cold coffee next to his arm on the desk. 

Raymond dragged him off the chair, watching as he opened his eyes, terrified and confused. You pulled a piece of cord out of your pocket and began tying the man’s hands behind his back whilst Raymond attempted to quieten his protests. 

By the time you had both made it down towards the main, central hub where the machine was held, all the people you had come into contact with had been restrained or locked into rooms of which they had no way out. Surely, however, there was back up and you would both be noticed, acquired and reprimanded. 

As you were about to let yourself and Raymond into the huge lab area, where a few people in white coats were dashing back and forth, you felt him tighten his grip in your hand. He looked at you, smiling weakly and placed a gentle kiss against your lips. “Whatever happens from here, know that I love both you and our daughter,” he said, choking back tears. 

You knew that he truly believed he would not go through with you. In his eyes was the sad truth that his duty was to protect you and your unborn daughter, and if it meant him sacrificing his life and onward years with you, then he would do it to keep you both safe. 

“I’m not going through without you,” you told him. “If it means I have to stay here because this all fails, or I die trying to get through, then so be it. I’m not being parted from you again.” 


	7. Drabble Seven

** Imagine being told you may die going through the machine to 1209AD **

 

**_England, 2017_ **

You took a deep breath as you and Raymond both raced into the lab, looking up at a huge machine, white and imposing as it took up the whole of the centre of the room and touched the ceiling. Around it were people wearing white coats, some in complete white suits as they inspected the machine, stepping in and out of it through the air tight door. The air smelt sterile, almost like a hospital. Echoing on the air was a loud hum which came from the many mechanisms going on inside of the machine itself. 

Instantly you noticed the head scientist who was sat to the left hand side and his eyes locked on you. “You can’t be in here!” he shouted at you, getting to his feet. “You had your access repealed.” 

“This is my access,” you hissed at him, pointing at Raymond who was holding the pistol in his hand, reading to fire if need be. “Now, seal the doors so no one can get in or out,” you demanded. “You’re going to send us back to France, 1209. And if anyone follows us through, you’ll be killed on the spot. He’s trained in killing anyone who crosses him.” 

A scientist, wearing a complete white suit attempted to get out of the main access doorway but found themselves on the floor with a bullet in the chest. “Anyone else dares fucking move and he’ll put a bullet in you!” you screamed at the people in front of you, who numbered six or seven. 

Another person moved to the side, trying to make a quick dash to the security desk next to main console, but was also shot once through the chest. “She is serious!” Raymond shouted back. “I have no problem in killing each and every one of you to see my family safe back home.” 

“So he’s the father of your child?” the head scientist asked, sweat dripping down his brow as he could now see that your threats were serious. “But you got pregnant when you went back.” 

“How I got pregnant is none of your damn business!” you shouted again. Feeling intense anger race through you, you pulled the knife from Raymond’s pocket and lunged at the scientist. “You’ll send me through, Franklin.” Your use of his name made him wince. He could see the warmth that you had always shown drain from your eyes. In fact, he had always quite liked you in the time you had worked together, thinking you were one of the better suited people to the job that you did. 

“If you go through, it may kill you. You’ve already been subject to a blast of radiation and charged particles twice. A third time…” Franklin began. You looked around at the rest of the scientists who were all still. 

“You’re lying!” you shouted at him. “You’ll send me back!” 

“I’m serious, a third time may be too much for your body to take.” 

You raised your first at Franklin, gritting your teeth. 

“Please, don’t. I’m telling you the truth,” he begged, raising his hands as a shield. “Listen to me. I wouldn’t lie to you about this. We still haven’t perfected the use of this machine, you know that. It’s why you were sent back before, and we were lucky enough to locate you and bring you back. Do you want to not only kill yourself but your unborn baby?” 

One of the other scientists walked slowly towards you, taking off their protective helmet. It was Karen, a middle aged woman whom you had always respected. She had trained you, been kind to you when all the others were arrogant and been your confident. “He’s right,” Karen said softly. “We don’t know the effect this machine will have on you and the baby.” She then looked to Raymond. “If you love this woman then you won’t let her go through.” 

“I love her more than life itself,” Raymond said softly, his voice breaking. He looked at you, tears welling in his eyes. “My love, you can’t.” 

Your heart began to break in your chest and you wept as you saw the tears fall down Raymond’s cheeks at the prospect of losing you and your daughter. “I can’t. If we stay here we’ll be parted. We’ve come too far now. They’ll lock me and the baby up, send you to prison for what’s happened today. I’m not going to be apart from you again. If I die, I want to die in your arms and know you’re free, back in France where you belong.” 

Karen stepped towards you and then looked at Franklin. “Don’t stop them,” she instructed. “Sweetheart, you know I’ve always been blunt with you, and told it like it is, this really could be fatal for you and that baby.” You looked up at her and then to Raymond, his face wet with his grief. 

“Please, do not,” he begged. “Living separated from you but knowing you’re alive would be just about bearable, but I could not live knowing I had allowed you to do this and it had taken your life.” 

You stood straight and sniffed away the tears. “No, we stay together as a family.” You took Raymond’s hand and kissed it. “This is my choice; you died to honour me and now I’m willing to do the same.” 

“You can’t be serious!” Karen cried out. “Please, don’t!”

“I’m no going to live the rest of my life without my family and as a lab rat. I would rather die next to him, and with my daughter still a part of me.” 

You grabbed the gun from Raymond’s limp hand and aimed it at Karen. “Open the door. Now!” 

Karen and Franklin complied with your demands that day, shutting you and Raymond into the machine. Upon its activation, with an intense white light all around you in the small air tight room, you clung to Raymond. 

Next thing you knew, you felt intense pain engulf you, making you scream. The scream was so loud and forceful that it ripped the skin from your throat. 


	8. Drabble Eight

**Imagine being on the brink of death back in 1209AD**

 

**_France, 1209 AD_ **

The sun was shining down on you and it was all you could see behind the outline of Raymond’s head and shoulders as he fell to his knees with you in his arms. The pain had stopped, and you felt warm, comfortable and at peace. 

He kissed your head and rocked you back and forth, his weeps becoming lost on the gentle wind. Then you focused on his face, trying to reach out but realised you could not move your right arm. That was all you remembered as you lost consciousness. 

Raymond took you back to his family estate, carrying you out of the forest and following the river down towards the village which was in the distance, about a mile away. He cradled you close to him, kissing your head and praying to whoever was above that you would survive. 

By the time that Raymond arrived at the village and approached his estate, guards came out of the home. One of Raymond’s previous lieutenants, Auben, came marching out of the front of the house. “Raymond?” he called out, shocked at the appearance of his commander. “But, you are dead. We buried you.” 

Raymond couldn’t care less about his re-appearance in the village and the confusion that it would no doubt cause. He shoved past Auben and took you, his unconscious wife, up into the back bed chamber where he had lived for many years, and also it being the place he had made love to you for the first time. 

Auben followed Raymond up the stairs, calling after him. 

“Get me anyone who is trained in medicine,” Raymond spat at Auben. “I don’t care who they are, get them all in here _now_.” 

You drifted back and forth, seeing many swirling shadows above you, faces looking down at you and voices. But out of it all, you kept hold to Raymond’s voice. Sometimes you woke to pain and then other times you woke to complete peace and warmth. 

Raymond never left your side, despite Auben keep pestering him to discuss his re-appearance. Until one morning Raymond got up from his seat which was beside your bed. “It was obviously not my body! I am alive! That is the last word I will have said on it. If my father is dead then the estate falls to me, and if that is the case, get out! Leave me with my wife!” he bellowed. 

One of the many healers who had been too and fro the last two weeks came into the room to check on your arm which had sustained harsh chemical burns. He bowed his head to Raymond and began changing your bandages, noticing that  you seemed to be healing adequately. You also had a large burn down your back as well, which meant turning you over and placing cool, moist bandages under you. 

“How is she?” Raymond asked the elderly man in front of him. 

“She is healing well. And the child is moving, which is good news. She has much strength inside her, my Lord, considering she was on the brink of death when she first came to us.” 

Raymond couldn’t help but raise a weak smile and then look up at the healer. “She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. And it is such an honour and pride to call her mine.” 

                                             **************************************

You finally woke fifteen days after your arrival to the village, and this time you remained awake. Raymond was beside you, as he always had been, and smiled in relief. You felt nothing but peace wash over you as he leaned down to you and placed a kiss against your lips. You let your left hand drift up his face, still unable to raise your right. 

“She’s alright. I can feel her moving,” you told Raymond as you parted from your kiss. 

Suddenly a bolt of pain hit you in the pit of your stomach, making you arch up off the bed and put pressure on your back burn. You cried out in pain, causing Raymond to jump up, terrified. 

A healer soon appeared and raced inside, inspecting you. “My Lord, she’s going into early labour.”


	9. Drabble Nine

** Imagine Raymond helping you through labour and then nursing you and your daughter back to health **

 

 

****

_**France, 1209AD** _

Your labour began quickly and within an hour you knew that you were minutes away from your daughter being born. Raymond had watched you writhe in pain, unable to hold back your vocalisations of the agony raging through you from your burns and the contractions. He held your hand, kissed your head and watched as you wept.

The healer stood at your feet, watching as the baby began to crown. “You will need to begin pushing,” he instructed.

“I can’t!” you groaned loudly, dropping into the stacked pillows behind you. The burn on your back scraped against the pillows and you arched your back, crying out. “Please, I want the pain to end.”

Raymond got up from his seat, pulled his tunic off and threw it to the floor, then gently eased you forwards. As he got into the bed behind you, he shoved the pillows out. “Rest back against me,” he said, hoping that because he was now without clothing on his top half, your skin would not be irritated by fabric. You felt Raymond’s warm chest behind you and he pulled you against him, helping you as you still did not have the full use of your right arm. He put his one arm around your middle, above your bump, holding you and then his other hand held your left one, stabilising you. “You can do this, my love,” he whispered, kissing your cheek.

You had no fight left within you. All the pain had stripped it away, leaving exhaustion and agony behind. “I can’t, Raymond,” you panted.

“You can. You are the strongest and most courageous of anyone I know,” he told you. “Our baby needs you. She can’t do this without you. And I’m not going to let you do it alone. Put as much pressure against me as you need to.” You could feel your daughter needing to be born, and the need to push became stronger, until you had no control left and began pushing.

Using everything you had left, you helped your daughter into the world, with Raymond holding on to you.

Then you heard newborn cries. But darkness came over you again.

 

********************************

Raymond remained at your bedside constantly, cradling your daughter in between nursing. Even feeding time was exhausting, and you would instantly fall asleep afterwards, leaving your newborn with Raymond. You only held her once, and even then you almost dropped her.

The first week after your baby was born and you only remembered snippets, like the flashing of a projector, intermittent scenes. Raymond knew that you were weak, still healing from your burns and the effects the machine had had on your body. Every night he would sit beside you, your daughter in a crib at the bottom of your bed, and he would hang his head in shame. How could he have allowed this? You were his family and needed him. But he felt good for nothing, having let you both down.

Your baby still had no name. One day he held her in his arms, his hand brushing across her head, feeling her fine hair beneath his fingers. He smiled, watching her wriggle and yawn. She was such a beautiful sight. Then he placed a gentle kiss against her head. “My little Belle,” he whispered. “Just as beautiful as your mother.”

Lucille came in behind Raymond, watching him in such a sweet moment with his daughter. “My Lord?” she asked.

“Yes?” he snapped, not wanting to be disturbed from time with his daughter.

“Do you wish to bathe and rest? I will look after your daughter for you. You will not do well if you continue going without sleep. They need you to be rested for them,” Lucille said.

Raymond turned around, kissing his daughter again. “You are right,” he replied, shamed by his outburst. He looked at his little girl for a few seconds, smiling at her as her eyes opened. “I have named her Belle.”


	10. Drabble Ten

**Imagine getting back to decent health but withdrawing from Raymond as you feel ashamed of your scarring**

 

 

_**France, 1209AD.** _

Each day and you felt yourself becoming stronger. After a full month of being bed ridden, and two weeks after Belle’s birth, you got up from yours and Raymond’s bed. At first you nearly collapsed with dizziness and felt the burn on your back stretch with you, making you wince. All of the maids at the estate, and of course, Raymond, were godsends. 

One morning you got up, not having seen your body yet and the toll that coming back through the machine for a third time had taken on it. Raymond was standing beside you as you approached a full length dress mirror. You held your right arm just under your breasts, still not able to fully move it, however, some use was beginning to come back into it. Full of fear and apprehension you slowly walked towards the mirror and gasped as you saw yourself, completely naked. Your right arm was bright red, broken blisters and raw skin hanging from it. At your shoulder were dark red veins which turned purple as they moved up your neck. Then you turned on a side and looked over your shoulder, seeing your back which was one huge mass of red raw skin and thick veins. 

Raymond approached you, holding Belle in his one arm and reached out to you. 

“Don’t touch me!” you shouted at him. You began weeping. “Look at me!” 

Raymond felt your grief hit him hard as he saw the terror on your face at seeing yourself for the first time after coming back to France. He moved to you, not caring that you didn’t wish for him to touch you. He brushed his free hand up your face and kissed you. But you pulled away. 

“I’m disgusting!” you screamed, pushing him away. The sudden outburst terrified Belle and she began crying. 

                                             ******************************

For days you avoided Raymond, trying to wake up before him and take Belle with you into the village where you would cover up completely, sometimes placing a shawl over your head. You knew most of his days were now taken up with signing all relevant documentation to make sure the estate was legally his. Raymond’s father’s death was still classed as ‘mysterious circumstances’, and whenever you heard it mentioned your skin crawled with the disgusting memory of what you had done. But Raymond’s death and the fact you had had to marry in secrecy had pushed you to slaughtering the bastard. 

Nights were always hard. You got into bed, after feeding Belle and putting her down in her crib, making sure you turned in before Raymond. Then as he got in behind you, often brushing your cheek with his hand, you would pretend to be asleep, but shed a tear for the chill that you had placed between you both. 

One particular night and you got into bed after feeding Belle and curled up on your side, letting the depression of what you had become overtake you. You adored Raymond, still loving him as passionately as you always had, but you could not face him. You were disgusting, transformed and disfigured by your choice to come through the machine. How could he want to be anywhere near you? 

“I am no fool,” a voice came, hidden in the shadows from the corner of the room. “I know you are often awake when I lie beside you. You think I will no longer love you because of your scars?” Raymond stepped out of the shadows, and you gasped, feeling your attraction to him rise in your stomach and chest, as it always had done. It made you think back to the times when he would visit you in the dairy barn. “Why do you think so little of me? Why?” His voice was desperate for an answer and his eyes were burning in frustration as he approached the bed. 

“You once told me that I was the most beautiful thing made by God, and I never believed it then, but I most certainly don’t now,” you said softly, looking up at him. Candlelight danced across his face, placing shadows across his pointed and distinct features. “I remember how we first fell in love, and it was raw attraction that became a deep need, and I’m scared that attraction has gone. How can you even be attracted to me anymore?” 

Raymond sat down on the bed next to you, his hand brushing softly up your leg. Instantly you felt that need for him, the primal urge striking you in your gut. Goosebumps rose on your flesh, and you knew he sensed it. His eyes were darkened and he looked up, his gaze resting on yours. “Everything that we have endured, my love, does that not show how much we are destined to be together? Why would I have been born again in the time you came from? My time on Earth was not done, and I was granted more to be alongside you and Belle. Your scarring changes _nothing_!”He growled as he said ‘nothing’. “They remind me of how I let you down and did not protect you in the way I should; if anyone should be ashamed of those scars, it is me, not you. All you have done is be faithful to me, honour me and love me, and that I do not deserve.” Raymond choked on tears. “I have made many mistakes; I have taken lives, acted cruelly, tortured and stole, but I would do it in a heartbeat for you and Belle. You are my heart and my soul, both of you. Never be ashamed in front of me. It should be me who stands in shame, in shame of the beauty of you that has remained pure and loved my ugliness.” 

You sat up and got onto your knees beside Raymond and wound your arms around him, drawing him to your chest. “And you have nothing to be ashamed of. I made my choice to follow you through.” 

Suddenly Belle began to stir and cry in her crib. Raymond was the first to move and walked to the baby, taking her in his arms. He began to sing, an old lullaby that his mother sang to him. 

You felt your heart rise in your chest as you watched your husband cradle your daughter. His voice was deep, but so breathtakingly beautiful. If only you had heard it before. “Your voice is beautiful,” you told him. 

Once Belle had gone back to sleep, you and Raymond lay together in bed. You rested your head on his chest, listening to him hum to you and gradually you drifted off to sleep. 


	11. Drabble Eleven

**Imagine building a new life with Belle and Raymond**

 

 

**_France 1209AD onwards…._ **

Life began to get better for you. Your wounds gradually healed completely, turning into deep purple and red scars, and you knew that they would never disappear. The only thing you could do was learn to accept them now as a part of you, showing your strength and courage in your determination to remain with Raymond. But you knew that he carried the guilt on his shoulders, and had wished numerous times that it had been him left scarred, not you. You finally made love to him again two months after Belle’s birth, feeling your connection become even stronger as he kissed down your scars, his tears falling on them whilst he apologised for not protecting you. 

The de Merville estate had now been fully acknowledged and signed over to Raymond, yourself and Belle. 

You would visit Etienne most days, taking Belle with you. The fast growing girl would laugh at the man who was always introduced as her grand papa. Her blue eyes, so much like Raymond’s, became bright and wide whenever she entered Etienne’s home. One day you had a proposal. 

“Raymond and I would like you to move to the estate with us,” you told him. “You’re a part of our family. Raymond is happy for you to help out in the work shop if you want to carry on with your business. But we are more than happy to support you fully if you want to look towards retiring.” Etienne had been a carpenter in the village now for many decades, and still kept his workshop open, despite being into his seventh decade of life. 

Etienne smiled at you as he held Belle on his lap who was looking up him in amusement. “I would love to take up your offer, dear one, but I feel I would be putting strain on you, and you and Raymond need your privacy with Belle,” Etienne said, a wave of sadness washing over his face. 

“Nonsense!” you laughed. “ We want you with us. Raymond knows how deep our bond is, Papa.” You placed your hand over the old man’s, feeling a slight stab of regret for leaving your real father behind. “And he thinks a lot of you. I know you were always worried about me being with him, but I could never have imagined finding a better man to marry. He adores both me and Belle. And even if he’s done bad things, all I see is the good in him. All he wanted from when he was a boy was to be needed and loved by someone, and we’ve given him that.”

Etienne eventually accepted your offer and moved into the large estate with you, Raymond and Belle, alongside the maids, who now only numbered two. You had kept on Lucille and another young woman named Adele. All the other workers at the house had been moved on to other parts of the village. 

As time went by, you gradually found your feet within the village as Lady de Merville, gaining the respect of a lot of the residents. Raymond had promised that he would never leave your side again to head into battle, unless it was under dire circumstances, which you prayed every night would never come to your door. 

Some days you would make yourself busy by going into the dairy barn, Belle happily sitting beside you, and you would go about your routine from when you were unmarried. The simplicity of this life made you full of peace; every day you were thankful for Raymond and Belle. However, it was now two years after coming back to France, and both you and Raymond had begun to try and conceive another child. Would you ever conceive again after the effects of the time machine on your body? This would be a question which would remain unanswered for a few years. 

Whenever Etienne asked to spend time with Belle, he would sit her down on his lap and read to her. Her small fingers would trace the lines of the well worn, hand written volumes that were in Raymond’s study. This meant that you and Raymond had time to be alone. You would take walks along the river, sometimes making love beneath the sun to nothing but the sounds of the rushing water and your moans of pleasure. 

One day, now that Belle was nearly four, you rested on your side and looked at Raymond who had his arm draped across your middle. “I’m sorry,” you whispered to him, looking down. 

“What for, my love?” Raymond asked, knotting his eyebrows. 

“That I can’t give you another child. I don’t know if it’s the effect of the machine. But I haven’t even been menstruating regularly, and it all happened since we came back. My body has changed so much. I feel so different, in every way, and I can’t explain it. It’s like the person I used to be when we met is gone.” 

Raymond smiled. “She has not gone. She has just grown bolder and truer to who she is. Since we took my father’s land, you have gained confidence in yourself. You will always be the beautiful, fiery and passionate woman I first saw. But now you have added more pieces to the puzzle of who you are, and you are piecing it all together. Now you are a mother, and you have authority over this village alongside me. In fact, I believe it was you who changed _me_.” 

You laughed at Raymond and pressed yourself more fully against him, feeling his arms lock around you. “No, I just unlocked the part of you that always wanted to be loved and needed by someone. It was there in you all along. You just covered it up.” 

Raymond, placed a hand against your belly. “If we do not find ourselves blessed with another child, then I accept that. Never feel as if you have wronged me by not conceiving. We have Belle, and each other.” 


	12. Drabble Twelve

**Imagine a long and happy life with Raymond**

 

 

**_France 1213AD onwards…_ **

Years passed where you lost loved ones, but also gained new friends. You lost Etienne one winter when Belle was nearly ten. You wept for your lost adoptive Papa, but celebrated his life on the evening of his burial, honouring his memory in a private family gathering. You, Raymond, Belle and Lucille ate together, bowing your heads and saying a prayer for him, hoping that you would all one day be reunited in heaven. 

Sometimes you had dark dreams, reminders of the pain and suffering you had endured when coming back to be with Raymond and give birth to Belle in safety. The terror and pain would rise in you and you would wake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, also waking Raymond. But he would take you against him, and sing to you softly, brushing his hand through your hair. 

After years of trying to conceive, you knew in your heart that you would never have another child. As you reached forty, the years diminishing, you gave up the hope of a sibling for Belle, and allowed your lovemaking to be purely for a connection of love and passion, trying to forget the want for another child. 

Raymond still trained out in the field with his men, being the leader he always had been, but stood down from any active service. And, thankfully, his presence was not needed in the remainder of your lives together. He was able to be a teacher and commander alone to his men. 

Belle grew into a beautiful young woman as she reached her early teens, becoming the sought after prize of most of the young men in the village. However, Raymond made it clear that anyone approach his daughter, and they would be castrated on sight. Her bond with Raymond was deep, and she was often sound sitting in his study with him, laughing and asking about years gone by. You would walk into the room and they would both stop, look up at you, their faces bathed in candlelight, and Raymond would reach his hand out to you, gesturing for you to sit with them. Belle was Raymond’s daughter through and through; she had his eyes, those piercing, ice blue eyes and her resolve was iron. If she wanted something then she would stop at nothing to get it. Yet she possessed your compassion and your humility. Sometimes you wondered how she would react if you told her your dark secret which only Raymond knew, and that was you had killed her grandfather. Raymond had always called you brave, but if there was any cowardice in you then it was here; you were terrified of the reaction from your daughter if she found out this secret. 

When Belle was nineteen she began courting a young knight whom Raymond was training named Lucas. At first Raymond had been disgusted by the idea of his daughter courting. 

“Raymond, she needs to find her way in life, and we can’t stop her,” you told your husband. You looked at him, still finding him as handsome as when you first met, despite him now being in his fifties. The only sign of his age was the grey beginning to pepper his temples. 

“I know what men want from women, and I will not have him sniffing around her like a piece of meat!” Raymond shouted. 

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Like me when we first met.” 

Raymond fell silent. 

You laughed again and stood beside him, drawing your arm around his middle. “Don’t be ashamed to admit it, you only thought of that with me when we first met. And it paid off eventually.” 

“I want to protect her,” Raymond said softly, brushing his hand up your bare arm across your scars. 

“And that’s only natural. Don’t you think I want to protect her, too?” you asked him. “But we have to let go a little and allow her to fly free. We can’t hold on to her forever, and I know that’s hard. You’ve had such a bond with her, and sometimes I’m jealous of that. But I know it was because you looked after her the first couple of weeks after she was born because I couldn’t. You want her to need you. That’s all you’ve ever wanted. I know you enough by now. Even if she gets married and has her own children, she’ll always need you, and I most certainly always will.” 

Raymond smiled at you and placed a kiss against your lips. 

Belle was married two years later, and gave birth to a son a further three years later. You revelled in being a grandmother, and Raymond extended his devotion from you and Belle towards his grandson, Phillippe. 

By the time you were seventy and you had three grandchildren, two boys and a girl. But Raymond caught pneumonia in the winter of his seventy eighth year, and whilst you cared for him as much as you could, day and night, he left you. As he took his last laboured breath, you kissed him farewell, allowing him to finally go as this really was his time to leave you. 

You lived on a further five years after Raymond’s death, staying with Belle who was now the rightful heir to the estate. Raymond had demanded that the property be left to you and then Belle upon his death, despite being women in a patriarchal society. 

Sometimes you would walk to the river where you and Raymond had so often made love and where you had run away all those years ago, only to be captured by bandits on the road. Raymond had been your saviour then, and he always would be. He had given you a new life, a family and a hope again to carry on. And for the remainder of your years you held on to the memories of the good man he was, forgetting his darker days. 

On the afternoon of the day you left this world, you took one last walk to the river, shedding a tear for Raymond but smiling against the sun’s beams, knowing he would come for you. 

You collapsed next to the river and it was Belle and her husband, Lucas, who found you as you had not come home for dinner and they knew you ventured to the river often. 

Belle held your hand as you faded from this life, telling her to read the letter you had penned two days earlier and left in Raymond’s study. You had explained everything in the letter, mainly your reasons for taking her grandfather’s life and your love for her.  

“Read the letter,” you told her. “But I just hope you forgive me.” 

“Why would I need to forgive you?” Belle cried.    

Just then you heard a familiar voice on the wind, and you smiled, knowing he was there to take you home. “My love.” 


End file.
